I know an old lady who lives in a home that's older than she is and animals roam
to the top of the roof and down to the ground I say it's quite bad, now let me expound
She has tree squirrels and red squirrels and flying squirrels too
She has gray squirrels a chewing on what they can chew
They climb down to her feeder and eat of the seeds
Then race up the trees at dizzying speeds
They get into her attic and claw in through the wood
They climb down through the walls as no animal should
They love soffits and eaves and holes that are rotted
If these creatures were insects, they'd surely be swatted
They chew on her wires and chew on her wood
If they're into the pantry they're up to no good
She's had all she can take she can't take any more
It's time for the cavalry; to declare this as war
seal up rotting holes, board up all the gaps,
call a professional to lay out some traps
They'll be careful to lure the squirrels safely out
So they don't bite and chew and thrash all about
The pros will take care that no babies are trapped
When the walls are all sealed and the chimney is capped
It's time to sleep easy, it's time to have peace
and for all of this squirrel business to finally cease.