I know an old lady who lives in a home that's older than she is and animals roam

to the top of the roof and down to the ground I say it's quite bad, now let me expound

She has tree squirrels and red squirrels and flying squirrels too

She has gray squirrels a chewing on what they can chew

They climb down to her feeder and eat of the seeds

Then race up the trees at dizzying speeds

They get into her attic and claw in through the wood

They climb down through the walls as no animal should

They love soffits and eaves and holes that are rotted

If these creatures were insects, they'd surely be swatted

They chew on her wires and chew on her wood

If they're into the pantry they're up to no good

She's had all she can take she can't take any more

It's time for the cavalry; to declare this as war

seal up rotting holes, board up all the gaps,

call a professional to lay out some traps

They'll be careful to lure the squirrels safely out

So they don't bite and chew and thrash all about

The pros will take care that no babies are trapped

When the walls are all sealed and the chimney is capped

It's time to sleep easy, it's time to have peace

and for all of this squirrel business to finally cease.