I know without a doubt
it's fall once again

Cause of all of the wildlife
tryin' to get in

I have bats in my belfry
and mice up there too

I have raccoons a munching
on all they can chew

They're up in my attic
and out in the shed

these furry intruders
make me wish I was dead

The trash cans are rummaged
the garbage is strewn

if they haven't built nests yet
probably soon

The skunk smell is rising
from under the porch

my nostril cavities
are starting to scorch

And what's with the woodchucks?
I'm like, "what the heck!"

Their burrowing activties
are wrecking my deck

They're eating my plants
and flower stems too

With this onslaught of terror
what's a homeowner to do?

As it turns out
there's nothing to fear

I don't have to live
with these animals here

I can call a professional
have them trap and come spray

to my happy relief
they're a phone call away